We started seeing each other initially as friends — we have a lot of shared interests — and then one day he jumped on me and the relationship became increasingly physical. So far, so good — until we were both looking at something on his laptop, and a dating website came up as one of his most visited sites. I asked him about this, and told him that while I had no wish to pry into his personal life, the question for me was whether he was looking to keep his options open for now, it being early days. A quick Google search on his user name revealed another three, all with very recent logins. At that stage I was ready to end the relationship and leave him to it. It is true that lots of people set up online dating profiles without ever taking action or using them to meet someone.
He is keeping his options open. When a man is committed to you he is committed to contributing to your happiness as well. Unless he is a complete idiot, he is aware this would not make you happy.
A man committed to you would rather lose his arm than cause you despair. This may also be a sign to you that you are a lot more invested into him than he is into you.
Is he really your boyfriend or has your imagination carried you away in this relationship? They keep these secrets because they fear your emotional reaction.
They are pacing the relationship in their own minds to a degree. Bottom line here though is this. At this moment, today, right now, you are most likely more invested and farther ahead in this relationship than he is. This will only put him on the defense and he very well may play the blame shifting game as in make you feel like crap for snooping in the first place. Managing your emotions is something that you will be glad you did later down the road as opposed to going bat shit crazy on him.
Consider how you discovered this gut wrenching piece of information. I am not on a dating site, even though it appears I am. When you find your boyfriend is still on a dating site, you have two choices really.
You can confront him or you can downgrade him and pull back from the relationship. Then shut up and listen. Not with the ears that want to believe, but with that gut!
When Your Boyfriend is Still on a Dating Site – What to do?
He did it on his own and problem was resolved with no drama. If he gives you any lame excuses. If a man is still active on a dating site, his options are open and you options should remain open as well. That is what we call mirroring a man. Listen to these two classes to really deal with this the Goddessy Way: Even when he has claimed you verbally, your job to observe never stops.
Katarina always says to be always on the same page as him at all time. I wanted an anonymous forum to ask an embarassing question since I don't want to tell my family and friends about this, it's too humiliating. Thanks everyone for your support. I needed a kick in the ass. And some courage now He is seeking to date other women unless it is an old profile before he met you. Face it, it is what it is. I needed a push. Sounds like your man is looking for something on the side..
To answer your question and I am putting this out of my head so this is not what I am now thinking. We are afraid that we will not find anyone better. We are afraid we may not be able to have children. We are afraid that the minute we break up, he will be on tons of dates and I'll have a hard time alone for a long time.
Variety is the spice of life. You're not married so live a little. Two choice for you. Either confront him directly, and ask him what the hell he is doing. If you do not like the answer, dump his arse. OR, having already proved you are a sneaky spy, develop your spy skill even further, by downloading a stealth keylogger program. You can google it for choices.
That will give you an indication if it is just idle fun, or something much more serious. My opinion is that if I were you, I'd worry. Right now it may seem innocent for him to go behind your back. Right now is this behind your back. Later, given he's found someone who's responded Online, he'll see nothing wrong with keeping that going while pretending with you there's nothing unusual. Again, only my opinion.
Women only get better men when they start believing they deserve better! Probably best to bite the bullet now. If you break up with him, he will probably come crawling back anyway. You'll have your choice of him or whatever other guys you meet when you are single. I broke off my engagement to my fiancee last year due to this He's on this site for a reason I don't care that you weren't suppose to be looking through his shit Now, you man-up and leave before it gets tougher.
There are plenty of great men out there that don't need this kind of stimulation to pass the time or be happy. It's going to be hard, you're gonna cry, you're gonna be angry and you're gonna be down for awhile but honestly, I think you're worth more than this. In spanish there's a saying "Mejor sola que mala acompanada": Get him to fall in love harder.
Start ramping up your sex-life to the best he's ever had. Cheat on him, then leave him. This made me feel a lot better. PS Dez, is that your real photo??
My bf has a dating profile
Second, the fact that he has the profile is problem 2. I was in a similar "serious" relationship and not only did he turn out to be a cheater but abusive to boot. Your relationship is already over. Either dump him, or offer him a leash and harness. Tell him he needs to put it on you and lead you around and you will willingly BARK at all and any commands he gives you! Lucy "There's always room for dessert" P. Sunny "the lofty libertine" K.
Look, a profile on a dating website is for what it is. Since you're on your boyfriend's computer all the time anyway, it was by coincidence that you found the evidence. So, confront the matter with him, but gently and tactfully. I know what must be done. I very much appreciate everyone's input, as well as the surprising amount of insight and understanding I have seen from some of you. I have found moral support from quite an unlikely source.
I have lots of scathing things I could say to embarass you on this site although you've taken care of that pretty well for yourself but I will not sink to your level and unlike you, I am not gratuitously mean to people. I have and he took the bait invitation for a cocktail I will keep this in mind and pm you if and when that becomes necessary. Obviously, I extend the same offer to you!
Just my opinion, Marcy, but trapping him with this fake profile is only going to make things messier. Do you really need to do this to make yourself feel better? You've already got enough info to confront him. My last piece of what's probably unwanted advice Walk away with dignity. I've put his stuff out on the lawn once before and I can do it again! I've been reading this for two days. Pretty awesome that he accepted drinks with a ghost profile and you're going to bust him.
When I was younger, I had an ex do all the online cheating through myspace. Later I found out he was on adultfriendfinder. Yeah, total douche of a guy. When I caught him, even with the evidence, he swore he didn't ever cheat.
We obviously broke up, but even years later, he still swore he didn't cheat. Moral of the story? Don't be surprised if he continues to lie about it even when he shows up naked for drinks.
He sounds like a douche. Confront him- be calm and straightforward with what you found. If he respects you, he will tell you the truth. Either way, you deserve better. End things with him, but don't tell him why. Don't put up with crap like that. Apparently he not respecting your relationship. Kick his ass to the curb. Obviously you're more committed than him, and that's not fair. He should be honest and open with you and not letting other people believe he's single when he's not.
If he's not planning to cheat than why say he's single. I'm sorry you've gotta deal with that, I personally have and I made the right decision. No half assed relationship. Maybe you should just pull him up about it, trust is major and if you're going to have to worry if he'll cheat on you than what's the point, you shouldn't have to deal with that. Start mentally adjusting to living your life without, this 2 timing, cheating, untrustworthy s. Then, when you are ready, kick him in the gonads and leave him doubled over in pain.
A well placed shot and taking him by surprise, will show him just who he is dealing with. Show no mercy or sympathy no matter how much he moans and groans. Hitting him as hard as you can in his noggin, with your suitcase packed on the way out is optional. Mc Lovin "majically delicious" L. Marcy has been tanning non stop over the weekend and practicing her booty bounce.
My bootie bounce is just fine thank you very much! He's still camping, so I haven't said anything yet. Then the question of summer vacation comes up. We already have plans I could raelly use it and at this point believe myself capable of zoning him out. How will you "enjoy" the vacation with all this on your mind? I would have to try to put it out of my mind I'm looking at a future of many a "vacation for one" which scares me. Sounds like ur the only one that's committed.
Ones a cheater always a cheater, do u really have to catch him with another girl then it's call cheating to u? U don't think his going to leave u once he finds a girl his interested on that dating web? Or maybe ur just lying to urself that his just looking to meet friends?
U gotta treat urself with respect n stand up for urself. Don't let him think ur playable. It's not easy cutting someone out of your life when he's been the main person in it for years. But I understand what must be done. I am distancing myself. I am not thinking he will love me and marry me. I am thinking pragmatically. Do I want to be alone for vacation? But that doesn't mean I think there's a future here. I am not imagining feelings he doesn't have for me.
But he was my family for so long. It's a big change.
I've separated the emotions at this point, after what he did I had to. So no, I'm not naive, I'm looking out for myself. Y would u even waste ur time going on vac with a guy like that? Don't chu think u already wasted enough time n in the his just looking for someone else other than u. So what would you do, Sunny and V? This is about the 10th time i have caught him having inappropriate behavior online.
Needless to say now that the holidays are over so is our marriage. Good thing we do not have any children together. Of course, he does not admit it! Hmmm sorry not sorry, but shady lying pos. How do you deal with it? Wedding was 2 months away, bought a house together, and vehicles, and now what? I will cheat, just to get even, then what? I am a lawyer and make enough to buy her many nice things. Most recently a 4, dog. It is never enough it seems.
Her phone is full of rich men wanting to meet her. She emails them hopeful messages talking about her need for chemistry and attaching many half clothed pictures of her in her underwear.We Are Dating Exclusively But He Still Has An Active Dating Profile
She likes attention and says shes not cheating. I think she is preparing to leave me.
The guy I'm seeing is still using dating sites. What should I do?
For once in my life, I was faithful. Not cheating or flirting or texting with anyone since before we were married. She says things like, if we split up I want the dog. I ask why she says this and she just says she is worried about the dog if something goes wrong between us. She saves up money for air tickets to go home to her parents.
I am worried that I have been conned out of all my money.