In the lingo of online dating, submarining begins when someone with whom you have romantic involvement ghosts — or disappears from your life without notice — only to resurface with no apology. Hanna Barczyk for NPR hide caption. When it comes to meeting that special someone, we've gone from IRL to swiping right. Online dating has changed the way people meet and communicate — and as that old saying goes, when you're trying to find bae, communication is key. With new ways to flirt, date and find love come new lingo to describe the adventures — or misadventures — of online dating. As part of Morning Edition 's series, What Makes Us Click, here are some words and terms in the online dating lexicon.
Sometimes catfishing is done as part of a con or a larger purpose. Generally, these users will only communicate online, never in person, in order to maintain the facade.
In , former Notre Dame linebacker Manti Te'o' was at the center of what Deadspin reported as a "hoax," in which the story of his girlfriend, and her death, was fabricated.
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Merriam-Webster officially added the term in When you scroll through your crush's or potential date's social media profiles and like very, very old photos, either intentionally or accidentally. A deep like risks letting someone know that you're not only interested in them but that you also spent time researching them. An acronym for "define the relationship," a reference to that important talk when two people decide how to label what's going on between them.
When someone you've been dating abruptly cuts off communication without explanation, thus turning into a ghost. You may text them but they will never text you back. A specific form of catfishing in which a user, in an effort to hide their hair — or lack thereof — wears a hat in every picture on their online profile. An acronym for "in real life. For example, "I like your hat photo.
Let's meet up IRL. The unexpected, funny, adorable or otherwise charming backstory of how a couple met for the first time. This phrase is associated with an action on many dating apps. To swipe right means to indicate interest or attraction in a person. On some dating apps, users are shown a photo and given two basic options; swipe right to like a user, swipe left to move on.
While not all dating apps use the swipe function, most have a similar function allowing users to immediately say yes or no to a potential match. Sliding into DMs has become a subtle way to flirt online. DM is the abbreviation for direct message — a way to privately reach someone you follow on social media. The phrase can be modified to match its use: And then there's "sliding into DMs like" which is the meme form of the term. Submarining, a newly named trend , begins when someone with whom you have romantic involvement, ghosts — or disappears from your life without notice — only to resurface, with no apology and acts as if no time had passed.
I think she's breadcrumbing me. This one's pretty straightforward in meaning: It's a casual relationship. Catfishing is one of those dating terms that has legitimately made its way into the mainstream, thanks to the TV show and movie of the same name.
Messaging with someone who's pretending to be someone else? These setups tend to end badly. If they're resistant, they might be catfishing you. The term gained popularity after the release of the documentary on the then-burgeoning phenomenon, Catfish , but the real reason for the name is harder to come by. Cisgender is a term for people who aren't transgender, or whose assigned gender lines up with their actual gender.
But isn't that 'normal', you might ask? Actually, it isn't, it's just more common: While cisgender persons may outnumber transgender persons, it isn't a default setting; it's one of many. From cis-, meaning literally 'on this side of' in mathematics and organic chemistry. But the term you're looking for is 'cis'. Cuffing season is the period between early fall and late winter when everyone starts to shack up with the nearest half-decent single person to ward off loneliness and cold during the cooler months.
Cuffing season typically implied a short term, mutually beneficial arrangement that's strictly seasonal, and it ends as soon as the leaves start turning green again. Cuffing, as in "handcuffing", because you're chaining yourself to someone else — at least until winter's over.
Getting curved is being rejected, shot down, turned aside, said no to, dissed and dismissed. When you get curved you need to take a moment to properly absorb all of the "no" that just hit you.
But there's also something beautiful to a well-done curve; it's a memento to a failure, big and small, that you can carry around with you and use to prop up or tear down narratives about your dateability.
A curve is often subtler than a flat-out no think: Your text gets "Seen" but not responded to , so even if it hurts the same, it carries a name that implies a redirection rather than an outright rejection. As above, cushioning is the process of staying in contact with one or more romantic prospects as a backup in case things don't go smoothly with your main squeeze.
The "cushions" are usually kept on the periphery, eg. Cushioning, as in, keeping a person or several people around to "cushion" the blow if your main relationship doesn't work out. Yeah, I guess I'm cushioning. Over the past few years, daddy culture has risen to become pretty mainstream. A demisexual is a person whose sex drive is tied not to an immediate visual or physical attraction but to people's personalities once they've gotten to know them.
As a result, demisexuals are poor candidates for one-night stands and casual relationships — which may make them feel a bit alienated in our current dating climate. But they're no more or less capable of deep, loving relationships as the rest of us, so if you're prepared to take things slow sexually, demisexuals can make for great partners, too. Demi means half, or part — positioning demisexuals between asexuals and people who do typically experience sexual desire. A DM slide is when you direct message your crush using the private messaging functions available on all of the major social media networks, eg.
You usually need to be mutuals first — ie.
The Internet Dating Slang Terms You Need To Know
DM stands for "direct messages", and "sliding" is the process of entering someone's direct messages to flirt with them. A DTR conversation is a pivotal moment in a relationship: It's the moment you discuss what you are. Are you a for-real couple, or just friends with benefits, or a situationship? Timing is huge, here.
Have your DTR too early and you risk scaring the other person away; too late and you might discover they've been casually dating around the whole time, assuming it wasn't serious. There's no great mystery here — DTR simply stands for "define the relationship. There are other sex emojis — the peach a luscious butt and the water drops either wetness or ejaculate, depending on your tastes , notably — but the eggplant emoji is doubtless the most suggestive. Well, peach and water drops are actually used in other contexts.
But when was the last time you needed to use a damn eggplant emoji to signify eggplant? People just noticed that the eggplant emoji was phallic-looking. The rest is history.Dating & Relationship Vocabulary, Expressions, Slang words & more – English speaking Lesson
Man, I'd love to see his eggplant emoji, if you know what I mean. An emergency call is a fakeout that allows you to politely get out of a particularly bad date. If you can tell the night's going to be a trainwreck from the earliest moments and you often can but you're genuinely afraid of insulting the stranger you're sitting across from, a fake emergency call from a friend saying "Your brother's in the hospital" or "Your cat just died" early on in the evening can be a real lifesaver.
What a nightmare date that was. This is the dating version of the one-way fire door — on rare occasions, someone will come out of their shell to contact you, but won't respond if you attempt to get in touch. It's a setup that only works in deeply unequal situations — if you're getting firedoored, you're constantly feeling frustrated and only occasionally satisfied.
If this is happening to you, get out and close the door behind you. There are tons of people out there who won't do this to you! A fire door is a one-way door — it allows you to exit on rare occasions but never allows anyone to enter. If someone only seems interested in you during the warmer months, it might be a case of freckling. Friends with benefits is the relatively classy way of saying you know someone and care about them and are regularly engaging in sexual acts with them, but not within the context of a relationship.
It implies a certain looseness of arrangement. You probably don't see each other as often as a real couple; don't tell each other all the details of your lives; don't put each other down on emergency contact forms or mention each other on social media profiles.
That doesn't mean you're cold, unfeeling robots; it just means a relationship isn't exactly what you want. Is this a relationship? Or are we just friends? Yes, arguably, they're pretty similar. At the same time, though, the use of the F-word in one of the terms compared to the very euphemistic "benefits" denotes a very different sexual ethos.
One is classy, old world, and stuffy; the other is crass, lewd and very present. So, arguably, one is for the type of people who are ashamed of such a sexual arrangement, and one is for people who aren't.
Or maybe how you describe your setup depends more on who's asking. We've been seeing each other a lot This term is one of the more flexible on the list, but, generally speaking, someone who identifies as gay is exclusively attracted to, or exclusively dates, or exclusively has sex with, people who are the same gender as themselves — but it's a term that's been reclaimed by many across the spectrum of sexuality — so if you see a queer woman proclaim she's gay despite dating men too, it's not necessarily the contradiction you think it is.
You do know I'm gay, right? Can be applied to people who feel outside the gender binary, or it can be applied to persons who feel that their gender isn't fixed, but variable — changing from day to day. Unlike nonbinary persons, a genderfluid person might identify as male and female, on different days, whereas a nonbinary person will usually identify as neither male nor female. Someone's gender identity has nothing to do with whom they're attracted to, or what they look like on the outside, or what physical sex they were born as.
Gender is a mental conception of the self, so a genderfluid person can present as any gender or appearance, based on how that term feels for them. Gender, as in, your gender. Fluid, as in flowing, non-stable, movable, changeable. I need to ask her about this chem assignment. Ghosting is when you disappear out of someone's life because you're no longer interested in them, instead of telling them directly.
It's more abrupt than breadcrumbing: You know the disappearing act ghosts are known for? That, but it's your crush instead of a poltergeist.
I think I'm just gonna ghost her. The traditional one-night stand involves meeting a sexually-attractive stranger and taking them home for a night of unattached sex: Well, the half-night stand cuts out the staying over part: A half-night stand is 50 per cent of a one-night stand — get it? I guess I've had a half-night stand now! Haunting occurs when you think you have finished things with a date that didn't work out — or even a serious relationship — but then you notice signs that your ex is lurking your social media feeds, eg.
Often the notifications are a deliberate attempt to remind you that they exist. This is another supernatural dating metaphor but the meaning is almost the opposite of ghosting: He's haunting me, and it's really creepy. Incel is a term that became popular on Reddit to describe men who can't get laid. The term, as a descriptor, is doubly demeaning.
Not only is no one attracted to incels, but they also have a stupid name to describe them.
Dating sites lingo
Most incel problems could be sorted out by putting in minimal effort into looking better and having more positive interactions with women, but that's none of our business.
Incel's slightly less embarrassing cousin is volcel — the voluntarily celibate.
Incel is a portmanteau of the phrase "involuntarily celibate" — someone who's sexually inactive but wishes they could be. Coined by dating app Hinge, Kittenfishing is when you portray yourself in an unrealistically positive light in your online dating profiles. We all do this to some extent, but kittenfishing crosses the border into dishonest territory: You already know about catfishing, when a person pretends to be someone they're not online. Well, kittenfishing is the lite version of that.
Well, we met IRL, and she was definitely kittenfishing. You send a text to your crush and wait for their reply, giddy with excitement. Regardless, rather than a reply, you simply get a read receipt.
For high-school sweethearts starting college at separate schools, this could be a prelude to a Thanksgiving breakup, better known as a turkey dump. Are you lockering me?
LGBTQ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning , and its an acronym that's used to include the whole of a bunch of different communities of people whose sexualities or gender identities place them outside of the mainstream both historically and today.
Some incarnations of the term include groups like intersex people, asexuals; and often the final Q is omitted in popular discourse. Nevertheless, it's a useful term when you're trying to refer to several, often intersecting groups of people at once. Love bombing is when a new partner shows extreme amounts of affection early on and expends serious energy in a deliberate attempt to woo you.
However, once you've committed to a relationship with them, the love bomber will withdraw all that affection and let their true, ugly colors shine through, leaving you stuck in a nightmare relationship. This one's really not cute: Like its literal counterpart, a love bomb is awesome and spectacular at first, but ultimately very destructive. I guess he love bombed me.
Microcheating is a form of infidelity that stops short of the full-blown, overt cheating that occurs when a person sleeps with someone else behind their partner's back, but is low-level, cumulative dishonesty and infidelity that is intolerable in a committed relationship.
Think heavy flirting, tonnes of secrecy, furtive kissy-face emojis and emotional affairs. If you think of cheating behaviors as existing on a scale, these ones are on the more minor end. In my opinion, she's microcheating. In its original inception, "Netflix and chill" was a euphemism for a stay-at-home date that led to sex pretty quickly.
You invite your crush over under the premise of "just watching some Netflix and chilling" and then either abandon the movie pretty early or perhaps never even get to it, as hooking up becomes the main attraction. A non-binary person isn't cisgender, they are transgender. But not all transgender persons identify as the 'opposite' gender they were born as; in fact, many reject the idea that there are 'opposite' genders at all. A non-binary person may identify as neither male or female, or both male and female, or as a traditional gender to their culture such as two-spirited or third gender.
It's polite to use 'they' as a default pronoun until instructed otherwise if you're unsure about someone's gender. The prefix non- is modifying the noun 'binary', nullifying the idea that gender exists as only two options. Why doesn't Padraic want to be referred to as 'she'? An open relationship is a committed, romantic relationship that contains an arrangement where both parties can sleep with other people.
It's not cheating, because both parties are honest with each other and have the same freedom to engage in sex with other people. Open relationships often contain specific rules and boundaries, just like monogamous relationships, but "no sex with anyone else, ever!
The opposite of a traditional, "closed" relationship, an open relationship relaxes the rules on monogamy. I'm thinking of asking him for an open relationship. Some people, for whatever reason believe that the term bisexual doesn't apply to them. Maybe they're a woman who's attracted to women, men, and nonbinary people.