I found this article online a couple days ago. But take this all with a grain of salt. We started dating before he even decided to go to medical school. Medicine was just a distant thought in his mind and he already had a career… a good one. However, none of that matters now. We have been through a LOT together and I know we are going to go through a lot more.
A former college boy with a lust for life. This post will be a comprehensive guide to relationships in medical school. My life, like most, has been comprised of many phases and chapters.
Dating a first year med student
I was once a college freshman with a long distance girlfriend cringing. After that, I was a enjoying the single life like any college kid until my senior year. I said hi to some girl walking home from the bars at 2: As such, I have experience on all ends of the spectrum.
In the twilight of my joyful college days before departing for four years of medical bootcamp, I happened to meet a girl who did in fact prove to be worth it. While most people told me that entering medical school while in a relationship was a terrible idea, I proceeded and realized that they were wrong.
I am of the belief that you should not go searching for a relationship. Take your time with a period of romantic foreplay before giving it up and becoming Facebook official. Before going any further into the discussion of relationships in medical school, the number one most important question you have to ask yourself, is this the right person?
The ideal candidate for a significant other possesses many key qualities, but also, the right person is someone you can see yourself with long term.
Why would you date someone in medical school if you know the relationship has an expiration date? Nothing will mess with your focus like trying to study histology slides on a Saturday night while you picture your ex-sweetheart, Jenny, being force-fed shots of tequila by her friends and flirting with every guy she sees.
You will not be able to hang out and watch her favorite show every night. Many times, her texts will go hours unanswered. Is she okay with that? Before entering the relationship or continuing a current relationship into medical school, you must have a candid talk with your girl about expectations.
You will be busy.5 Medical School Myths under 90 SECONDS!
You will have to miss some seemingly important social events. I have never been a fan of long distance relationships. A mildly long distance relationship in medical school can actually be the perfect scenario. I get to spend my weekdays studying my ass off while being able to look forward to seeing her on the weekend. In medical school, you are on a mission, and everything else takes the backseat to your studies.
Distance can be a blessing. Dating someone in your class is one thing, but I highly advise you to avoid one night stands with classmates.
Emotions can go awry. Her feelings are hurt. She tells her friends. And boom, you have enemies and a bad reputation. Shit, I knew a girl who was two-timing two different guys in our class. Then everyone goes out, and Billy sees Sarah go home with Bobby. He thought they were exclusive. And now he hates her. Then Bobby stops by her place unexpectedly one day, and Billy is in her bed.
As for exclusively dating, it would probably be pretty nice to have a classmate to commiserate with. To share in the same struggles and joys as you. A companion in the same position. Several of my classmates have linked up, and they mostly seem pretty great together.
But still, you need to be wary.
A breakup with a classmate would be hella awkward for the next few years. My take is this — If you find the love of your life and someone who gives you butterflies in your stomach and all that good stuff, absoluteley go for it. Yeah, gotta call mom and dad once in a while, but you need a solid support system beyond your parents. You need that person in your corner to keep you going.
The Learning Curve in Dating Medicine
The Mick to your Rocky Balboa, if you will. Connection to the Real World: Get you a girl who can make you laugh, tell you stories about her day, discuss music and movies, and talk about life when you need to take your mind off of med school. For instance, I share all of my writing ideas with my girlfriend, she helps me brainstorm, and even proofreads my posts before I submit them. Girls On the Brain: Vonnegut is a source of endless wisdom, but this bit proves essential when you spend all week studying.
Hopefully once in a while during the few times you go out, you say the right things to the right girl and she goes home with you and you finally have terrible drunk sex to satiate your needs for the next two days before beginning another month or two of celibacy. Then you go back to having Pathoma videos open in one tab and PornHub open in another, dreaming about the next time you get lucky. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, after all.
Again, someone who is understanding of your stress and time constraints is important.
Shout out to my girl for being a hero. Something to Look Forward to: Sometimes it can be weeks. One of the best parts about having a girlfriend in med school is that you can have a good time shacking up in your apartment, cooking dinners, and watching movies on your couch for the weekend without doing so alone when you want to avoid the nightlife and ensuing hangover.
Certainly, there are some cons of being in a relationship in medical school. You blew off our plans for some stupid test, do you even care about me?! You will inevitably get into arguments. But, medical school is a bad, bad time to be stressed out about things outside of medicine. Medical school requires focus and energy. A bad breakup can mean depression. Depression can mean loss of focus. Loss of focus can mean failing an exam. Failing multiple exams can mean remediation or dismissal from med school.
Dismissal from med school can lead a mountain of debt with no degree to show and not-so-promising career opportunities. This can all lead to further depression. Deep depression can lead to suicide. Suicide can mean that your theoretical future children were never born. Your future theoretical child will never experience the joys of life.
Think of the kids, man. If your girl dumps you, she probably sucked anyways and you will meet someone better. Mope around for a day or two.
Your happiness should not be contingent on someone else. Met different, better people. As you can see, the drawbacks of a relationship in medical school are all outcomes of dating the wrong person. A relationship in medical school takes work for both parties. Before embarking on the journey, you need to sit down and have a candid talk about what each of you expects from each other.
Text throughout the day if you feel like it. Make promises to not sweat the small stuff or start an issue over irrelevant BS. Talk When You Can: I think one solid piece of advice is to make short calls periodically.
See our terms and privacy here. This site contains affiliate links. Purchasing through these links helps support this site at no additional cost to you. Please see the policies page for more information. I also added a couple at the end after 13 that are from my personal experience… Dating a med student? Accept the fact they will have many affairs. Each week they will have a new illness. Some will be extremely rare, others will be more mundane.
They will be certain they have it no second opinions necessary. Med school can, and will, turn even the sanest into a hypochondriac. How can they do that? A vacation together consists of a trip down the street to Walgreens for new highlighters and printer paper. Their study habits will make you feel like a complete slacker. For them, hitting the books 8-to hours a day is not uncommon, nor difficult.